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<meta name="Microsoft Theme" content="canvas 111, canvas 0111"> <meta name="Microsoft Border" content="b"> <body background="../_themes/canvas/cnvbkgnd.jpg" bgcolor="#FFFFCC" text="#000066" link="#663399" vlink="#006699" alink="#339999"><table dir="ltr" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td valign="top"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> <p align="center"> <img src="_derived/information.htm_cmp_canvas110_bnr.gif" width="600" height="60" border="0" alt="Information"> </p> <p align="center"> <script language="JavaScript"></script><script language="JavaScript"></script><a href="subscriptions.htm" language="JavaScript" onmouseover="if(MSFPhover) document['MSFPnav1'].src=MSFPnav1h.src" onmouseout="if(MSFPhover) document['MSFPnav1'].src=MSFPnav1n.src"><img src="_derived/subscriptions.htm_cmp_canvas110_hbtn.gif" width="140" height="60" border="0" alt="Subscriptions" align="middle" name="MSFPnav1"></a> <script language="JavaScript"></script><a 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<script language="JavaScript"></script><a href="http://www.dw-jotd.com/classic/parrot_tales/parrot_tales.htm" language="JavaScript" onmouseover="if(MSFPhover) document['MSFPnav7'].src=MSFPnav7h.src" onmouseout="if(MSFPhover) document['MSFPnav7'].src=MSFPnav7n.src"><img src="../_derived/ext2029_cmp_canvas110_hbtn.gif" width="140" height="60" border="0" alt="Parrot Tales" align="middle" name="MSFPnav7"></a> </p> <p align="center"> <a href="../"><img src="../_derived/home_cmp_canvas110_gbtn.gif" width="95" height="20" border="0" alt="Home" align="middle"></a> <a href="../search.htm"><img src="../_derived/search.htm_cmp_canvas110_gbtn.gif" width="95" height="20" border="0" alt="Search" align="middle"></a> <img src="_derived/information.htm_cmp_canvas110_gbtn.gif" width="95" height="20" border="0" alt="Information" align="middle"> <a href="../special_collection.htm"><img src="../_derived/special_collection.htm_cmp_canvas110_gbtn.gif" width="95" height="20" border="0" alt="Special Collection" align="middle"></a> <a href="../inspirational/inspirational_messages.htm" target="_top"><img src="../inspirational/_derived/inspirational_messages.htm_cmp_canvas110_gbtn.gif" width="95" height="20" border="0" alt="Special Messages" align="middle"></a> <a href="../bookstore/marketplace.htm"><img src="../bookstore/_derived/marketplace.htm_cmp_canvas110_gbtn.gif" width="95" height="20" border="0" alt="Marketplace" align="middle"></a> <a href="../links.htm"><img src="../_derived/links.htm_cmp_canvas110_gbtn.gif" width="95" height="20" border="0" alt="Links" align="middle"></a> <a href="http://www.dw-jotd.com/otr/index.html"><img src="../_derived/ext2035_cmp_canvas110_gbtn.gif" width="95" height="20" border="0" alt="Classic Radio" align="middle"></a> <a href="http://www.wardell.org/hosting/index.html"><img src="../_derived/ext1691_cmp_canvas110_gbtn.gif" width="95" height="20" border="0" alt="Web Hosting" align="middle"></a> <a href="../friends.htm"><img src="../_derived/friends.htm_cmp_canvas110_gbtn.gif" width="95" height="20" border="0" alt="Friends of JOTD" align="middle"></a> </p> <p align="center"><img src="../_themes/canvas/acnvrule.gif" width="600" height="10"></p> <p>Here is some collected information about Joke of the Day (JOTD) that will help you understand and enjoy the list and this site.  JOTD was started in October, 1996 and has been growing ever since.  Thanks in advance for your support and encouragement.</p> <blockquote> <h2 align="left"><font color="#663399"><a href="whats_funny.htm">What's Funny; What's Not</a></font></h2> </blockquote> <p align="left">This is an overview of what Joke of the Day considers humor to be.  Please take time to read it, as these principles govern the material you'll read on the list and in these pages.</p> <blockquote> <h2><font color="#663399"><a href="twelve_myths.htm">Twelve Myths</a></font></h2> </blockquote> <p>Here are twelve common myths about The Internet and e-mail messaging.  They're included here to help you avoid perpetuating or succumbing to them.</p> <blockquote> <h2><font color="#663399"><a href="unsubscribe.htm">Unsubscribe</a></font></h2> </blockquote> <p>Thinking of unsubscribing?  Here are several reasons you might reconsider.</p> <blockquote> <h2><font color="#663399">Joke of the Day Frequently Asked Questions</font></h2> </blockquote> </font><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/canvas/acnvbul1.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"><strong>What is Joke of the Day?</strong></font></td></tr> </table><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> <p>JOTD is a (mostly) daily e-mail message containing humorous anecdotes, stories, puns, and sundry tales that are either submitted by subscribers or pulled from my files. All the material is "squeaky clean" and just the kind of stories you'd tell to your grandmother or your children. As one subscriber put it, "Clean jokes are always the best--chances are that nobody has already heard them."</p> </font><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/canvas/acnvbul1.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"><strong>How Do You Get On The List?</strong></font></td></tr> </table><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> <p>Someone usually recommends the list to you. If you're a subscriber then that's probably what happened. Submissions for new subscribers are always welcome--but remember that some people (for obscure reasons) are adverse to receiving humor via e-mail--so please know the people you recommend!</p> <p>If you've been forwarded a JOTD message from someone you know, please feel free and subscribe yourself. This can be done automatically by sending a message to:</p> <blockquote> <p> <SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript"> user = "jotdlist-subscribe"; site = "topica.com"; body = "?subject=subscribe" document.write('<a href=\"mailto:' + user + '@' + site + body + '\">'); document.write(user + '@' + site + '</a>'); </SCRIPT>   </p> </blockquote> <p>If you are "Topica" user (meaning that you subscribe to other lists supported by "Topica," which includes JOTD), you may visit their site and sign-up online by pressing the button below:   </p> <FORM ACTION="http://www.topica.com/subscribe/jotdlist" METHOD="POST" TARGET="New_Window"> </font><TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="0" BGCOLOR="BLACK"> <TR> <TD><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"></font><TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="0" CELLSPACING="0" WIDTH=100%> <TR> <TD ALIGN=CENTER BGCOLOR="#3300CC"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> <A HREF="http://www.topica.com"> <IMG SRC="../images/topica_tab.gif" ALT="topica" BORDER="0" width="78" height="50"></A></font></TD> <TD BGCOLOR="#3300CC"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"></font><TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="0" CELLSPACING="1"> <TR> <TD ALIGN=LEFT><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"><FONT STYLE="font-size:14px" FACE="arial, helvetica, sans serif" SIZE="+0" COLOR="#CCFF00"> <B>Join DW's JOTD! </B></FONT></font></TD> </TR> <TR><TD><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"></font></TD></TR> <TR> <TD ALIGN=LEFT><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"><FONT STYLE="font-size: 9pt" SIZE="-1">  <INPUT TYPE="text" SIZE="17" NAME="email" VALUE="your email"></FONT> <FONT STYLE="font-size: 9pt" FACE="Geneva,Helvetica,Arial,Sans Serif" SIZE="-1">   <INPUT TYPE="submit" VALUE="Join">   </FONT></font></TD> </TR> </TABLE><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"></font></TD> </TR> </TABLE><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"></font></TD> </TR> </TABLE><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> </FORM>  </font><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/canvas/acnvbul1.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"><strong>Why Do  I Expend So Much Energy On Something Like JOTD?</strong></font></td></tr> </table><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> <p>That's probably a half-hour conversation, but basically there are numerous "Joke Of The Day"-type services but none that takes the "slant" we take. Since the inception of the service I've had a few rude comments, some snide remarks, many positive comments and a few genuinely touching stories that make it all worthwhile and make the few folks that, for reasons I'll never understand, can't endure any kind of humor bearable. The positive/negative comments run about 10-1 to the positive.</p> </font><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/canvas/acnvbul1.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"><strong>How Many People Read The Messages?</strong></font></td></tr> </table><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> <p>That's impossible to tell. In addition to the people that are direct recipients there is more than one "redistributor" that forwards the messages to their own lists. There are several thousand in any event. I've had my own stories sent back to me months later from the most unlikely places (you can tell a JOTD-originated story because the phrasing and word-order used are uncommon). There are far fewer contributors than subscribers (as with any list). Roughly 2%-3% of the direct list contributes, which is typical.</p> </font><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/canvas/acnvbul1.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"><strong>How Do I Get Off the List?</strong></font></td></tr> </table><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> <p>I can't imagine <em>why</em> anyone would want to, but to leave the list send a message to:</p> <p> <SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript"> user = "jotdlist-unsubscribe"; site = "topica.com"; body = "?subject=unsubscribe" document.write('<a href=\"mailto:' + user + '@' + site + body + '\">'); document.write(user + '@' + site + '</a>'); </SCRIPT>   </p> </font><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/canvas/acnvbul1.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"><strong>How do I contribute?</strong> </font></td></tr> </table><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> <p>Your messages are always welcome to: <SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript"> user = "jotd"; site = "wardell.org"; subject = "?subject=CONTRIBUTE" document.write('<a href=\"mailto:' + user + '@' + site + subject + '\">'); document.write(user + '@' + site + '</a>'); </SCRIPT>. Send material that you enjoy--we're always anxious to receive it. Remember that many good tales have already been used and that there is usually a message backlog. I try and use all submissions that are consistent with the format.</p> </font><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/canvas/acnvbul1.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"><strong>Please DON'T send the following</strong>:<br> </font></td></tr> </table><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> <ol> <li>Clearly off-color stories.</li> <li>Supposedly funny attachments, programs, or the like.</li> <li>Chain mails, tag-you're-it emails, snowball fights or similar nonsense.</li> <li>Warnings about the latest computer or e-mail virus that is about to destroy life as we know it.</li> <li>Messages that claim a donation will be made to some worthy cause or someone will win a prize if so many e-mail messages are received within a set time period--or whatever the latest scam might be (and by far the majority of these ARE scams).</li> <li>Anything that you know to be copyrighted. For example, the jokes and routines of a professional comic or a cartoon or comic strip are probably copyrighted and I can't use them.<br> </li> </ol> </font><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/canvas/acnvbul1.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"><strong>Is there a commercial side to JOTD?</strong></font></td></tr> </table><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> <p>I have never sold or given your email address to anyone nor will I do so. If you start getting SPAMmed after you start receiving JOTD it's a coincidence. </p>  <h5 align="left"><font color="#663399">Mailing List Use</font></h5> <p align="left">I have never sold, rented, lent, or given your e-mail address to anyone for any purpose, nor will I do so. If you start getting SPAMmed after you start receiving <i><b>DW's Joke of the Day</b></i>, it's a coincidence.</p> <h5 align="left"><font color="#663399">Other Advertising</font></h5> <p align="left">Occasional advertising messages from <i><b>DW's Joke of the Day</b></i>, its suppliers, or affiliates may appear in the messages. Clearly you are under to obligation to use any services promoted through the messages, but I do strongly encourage you to take advantage of any products or services that meet your needs, especially those recommended by <i><b>DW's Joke of the Day.</b></i></p>  </font><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tr><td valign="baseline" width="42"><img src="../_themes/canvas/acnvbul1.gif" width="15" height="15" hspace="13" alt="bullet"></td><td valign="top" width="100%"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"><b>Special Note To <a name="AOL">AOL</a> Subscribers</b></font></td></tr> </table><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> <p>In AOL Land, there is a way to "block" e-mail from all but addresses the recipient specifically designates as acceptable. I presume this is owing to the amount of SPAM some AOL accounts receive. Most of the time, however, folks activating this feature forget about JOTD and the messages "bounce." Since the account is now "blocked" there is no way to advise the account holder as to what is happening, so the address is deleted.</p> <p>The point is please remember to "allow" JOTD messages if you're about to "block" your AOL account. I wouldn't take up your time, but this is the second biggest reason AOL folks fall off the list.</p> <p align="center"><img src="../_themes/canvas/acnvrule.gif" width="600" height="10"></p> <h2 align="left"><font color="#663399"><a name="theme">DW's Joke of the Day Theme</a></font></h2> <blockquote> <p align="left"><font size="2">"Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent. We would not dare to conceive the things which are really merely commonplaces of existence. If we could fly out of that window hand in hand, hover over this great city, gently remove the roofs and peep in at the queer things which are going on, the strange coincidences, the planning, the cross-purposes, the wonderful chain of events, working through generations and leading to the most outr� results, it would make all fiction with its conventionalities and foreseen conclusions most stale and unprofitable."</font></p> </blockquote> <p align="right"><font size="2">- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859-1930), English author. Sherlock Holmes to Watson,<br> in The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, <i>"A Case of Identity"</i> (1892)</font></p> <p align="center"></p> </font></td></tr></table><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> <div align="center"> <div align="center"> </font><table border="1" cellpadding="3" style="border-collapse: collapse" bordercolor="#111111" cellspacing="0" bordercolordark="#006699" bordercolorlight="#339999"> <tr> <td width="100%" align="center"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"><font size="1" face="Arial"> <a target="_top" href="subscriptions.htm">Subscriptions</a> | <a target="_top" href="http://www.dw-jotd.com/classic/classic_tales.htm">Classic Tales</a> | <a target="_top" href="http://www.dw-jotd.com/classic/famous_folk/famous_folk.htm">Famous Folk</a> | <a target="_top" href="http://www.dw-jotd.com/classic/west/west.htm">Out West</a> |  <a target="_top" href="http://www.dw-jotd.com/classic/tad_buster/tad_buster_tales.htm">Tad & Buster Tales</a> | <a target="_top" href="http://www.dw-jotd.com/classic/ma_pa/ma_pa_tales.htm">Ma & Pa Tales</a> | <a target="_top" href="http://www.dw-jotd.com/classic/parrot_tales/parrot_tales.htm">Parrot Tales</a> </font></font></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="100%" align="center"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"><font face="Arial, Helvetica" size="1"> <a href="../index.html" target="_top"> DW's Joke of the Day</a> | <a href="../search.htm" target="_top">Search</a> | <a href="joke_of_the_day_faq.htm" target="_top">Information</a> | <a href="../special_collection.htm" target="_top">Special Collection</a> | <a href="../inspirational/inspirational_messages.htm" target="_top">Special Messages</a> | <a href="../bookstore/marketplace.htm" target="_top">Marketplace</a> | <a href="../links.htm" target="_top">Links</a> | <a target="_top" href="http://www.dw-jotd.com/otr/index.html">Classic Radio</a> | <a target="_blank" href="http://www.wardell.org/hosting/index.html">Web Hosting</a> | <a target="_top" href="../friends.htm">Friends</a></font></font></td> </tr> </table><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> </div>  <p align="center"> <SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript1.2" src="http://www.codeamber.org/js/codea.js"> </script>  <br> <font size="1" face="Arial"> <a target="_blank" href="amber.htm">What's the Scrolling Bar All About?</a> </font> </p> <p align="center">  <script type="text/javascript" language="javascript"> var sc_project=392185; 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border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1; border-top-width: 1; border-bottom-width: 1"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> </font></td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-left-width: 1; border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1; border-top-width: 1; border-bottom-width: 1"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> </font></td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-left-width: 1; border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1; border-top-width: 1; border-bottom-width: 1"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> <div align="center"> <p align="center"><em><font size="1">Copyright � 1996 - 2008 by David J. Wardell.  All Rights Reserved.</font></em></p> </div> </font></td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-left-width: 1; border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1; border-top-width: 1; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1"><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> <p align="center"><i><font size="1">Revised: </font></i><em> <font size="1"> Friday, May 23, 2003 02:22:47 AM </font></em></font></td> </tr> </table><font face="Arial, Arial, Helvetica"> </center></div> <p> </p> </font></td></tr></table></body>