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What the Engineer says (What it really means)
| A number of different approaches are being tried. (We are still grasping at straws.) | |
| We're working on a fresh approach to the problem. (We just hired three kids fresh out of college.) | |
| Close project coordination. (We know who to blame.) | |
| Major technological break through. (It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.) | |
| Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured. (We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.) | |
| Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive. (The thing blew up when we threw the switch.) | |
| Test results were extremely gratifying. (We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.) | |
| The entire concept will have to be abandoned. (The only person who understood the thing quit.) | |
| It is in process. (It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.) | |
| We'll look into it. (Forget it; we have enough problems for now.) | |
| Please read and initial. (Let's spread the responsibility for the mistake.) | |
| Give us the benefit of your thoughts. (We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.) | |
| Give us your interpretation. (I can't wait to hear this!) | |
| See me, or Let's Discuss. (Come into my office, I'm lonely.) | |
| All new! (Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.) | |
| Rugged (Too heavy to lift!) | |
| Lightweight (Lighter than rugged.) | |
| Years of development (One finally worked.) | |
| Energy saving (Achieved when the power switch is off.) | |
| Low maintenance (Impossible to fix if broken.) |
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"To define it rudely but not inaptly, engineering is the art of doing that well with one dollar, which any bungler can do with two after a fashion."
- Arthur Mellen Wellington (1847–95), U.S. engineer
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Copyright © 1996 - 2008 by David J. Wardell. All Rights Reserved. |
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Revised: Tuesday, September 07, 2004 03:54:16 AM |