The Woods


Not long ago a certain fellow with an imposing reputation among his peers as an accomplished mountain man, at last took his wife on a trek into the woods. At every opportunity he passed along outdoor-survival lore, with assurances that the skilled woodsman is prepared for every eventuality.

As considerable time passed and the woods became thicker, it was clear that the pair were lost.

The man tried all his skill as a woodsman to determine their direction. The day was overcast so the sun's position was of no help. Moss on trees yielded no result (there was no moss), nor did any of several other contrivances.

At last, as his wife was beginning to panic, the fellow spotted a cabin several miles distant, high atop a hill. Raising his binoculars the woodsman studied the cabin intently for several minutes, turned around and let the way directly back to their car.

"That was terrific," commented his wife. "How did you do it?"

"Simple," the woodsman muttered. "All the TV satellite dishes point south ..."

----------------A Final Thought ...

"To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel."

- Fran Lebowitz (b. 1951), U.S. journalist