Judicial Committee

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Once the frontier judge, among the most learned in the territory, was having a conversation with a friend, who determined to make a joke at the judge's expense.

"Judge," the fellow began, "I hate to tell you this, but the legislative committee of the territory has voted to abolish your bench."

"Who testified against me," demanded the outraged judge.

"Well, there was Jake, the banker, for one."

"What! Cried the judge. "Why, he's a swindler. He cheats widows and orphans out of their life savings. Who else?"

"Old man Taylor, the builder. He voted against you."

"The scoundrel. He cheats the underprivileged by building slum dwellings before they even become slums. He's a disgrace. So who else?"

The man then mentioned a number of others who, or so he said, had testified unfavorably. The judge, with mounting rage, denounced each in turn as a scoundrel or worse.

Finally, the man confessed that he had only been joking with the judge; that the committee had in fact voted unanimously to praise him.

"Now why," sighed the judge, "did you go and make me say all those mean things against the finest group of men I know?"

-----------------A Final Thought ...

"A judge is not supposed to know anything about the facts of life until they have been presented in evidence and explained to him at least three times."

- Lord Chief Justice Parker (19001972), British judge