Once there was a young man who learned that he was to be conscripted into the Czar's army. Must distressed, he asked the oldest man in the town where he lived for advice.
"There's nothing to worry about," was the answer. "Just go into the army and things will turn out well."
"How can you be so certain," asked the young man.
"Well, when you join the army, there are two possibilities--either you will be sent to combat or you won't. If not, then there is nothing to worry about."
"If you are sent to combat, then there are two possibilities--either you will be wounded, or you will not. If not, then there is nothing to worry about."
"If you are wounded, then there are two possibilities--either the wound will be mortal, or it won't. If not, then there is nothing to worry about."
"If the wound is mortal, then there are two possibilities--either you will go to hell or you will go to heaven. If you go to heaven, then there is nothing to worry about.
"If you go to hell, then there are two possibilities--either they take bribes or they don't. If they take bribes, there is nothing to worry about.
"And of course, they take bribes."