In the days of the old west, it happened that an old prospector, one "Dollar" Bill, had at last come into his fortune and, after selling the claim for a sizable sum, made his way east from Montana territory.
When he reached the big cities of the Midwest, Bill was overcome with the need for diversion and, it must be regretted, spent entirely too much time in a public house. After one such visit, Bill was clearly feeling no pain. After leaving the establishment he took a small detour to an exceedingly large and imposing church. Presenting himself at the door of the parson's residence, he knocked without mercy until the parson himself appeared, a fellow widely renown for his learning and preaching ability.
"Preacher," began the visitor, as clearly and steadily as he could, "I'm "Dollar" Bill, lately come from Montana territory. I want you to explain to me the difference between fundamentalism and modernism.
The parson, clearly annoyed at being roused at such an inappropriate hour, much less at the fellow's condition, and certainly in no mood for such a complex discussion, replied,
"Well, my friend. You don't look in any way fit for that conversation. If you'll come around to my study tomorrow, I'll be happy to explain the difference to you."
"No," replied the mountain man, "I've got to know now."
"And just why should the matter be so urgent?"
"Because," said Bill, "tomorrow I won't care any more ..."
-----------------A Final Thought ...
"Dogmatic theological statements are neither logical propositions nor poetic utterances. They are “shaggy dog” stories; they have a point, but he who tries too hard to get it will miss it."
- W. H. Auden (1907–73), Anglo-American poet