The dog of a kind-hearted soul had died. They had been together for many years and the man had loved him like a son. Now, in his grief, he felt the only comfort he could get was to see that the dog received a proper burial ceremony, as elaborate and solemn as could be arranged.
Not being a churchgoer, the fellow did not know exactly how to arrange the particulars. He first applied to a local Protestant house of worship. The preacher was polite, but could offer no hope. Said he,
"I am sorry, but it would be blasphemy to bestow upon a dog, lacking a soul, the solemn rituals we offer to humans. This, however, may not be the view that all men take. There is a synagogue down the street. Their attitude may differ."
The rabbi listened but was even more discouraging.
"You must understand," said he, "that a dog is an unclean beast. While Jews today may keep dogs as pets I could not lend this temple to such a ceremony."
The man applied to several more groups with similar results. Finally, in desperation, he asked one of the preachers if they could offer any further suggestion.
"Well," said one, "I believe there is a fraternal society in this place where you may be able to get a non-denominational service."
Applying there, he was rejected yet again. "Well," said he, "If it can't be, it can't be; but it grieves me deeply. Why, I was prepared to donate a thousand dollars to the place that would have taken care of my little dog for me."
As he rose to go the fraternal official lifted a hand and spoke. "Perhaps," said he, "I did not fully understand the particulars of this case. Did I understand you to say that the dog was a member of this order?"
--------------- A Final Thought ...
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
- Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. humorous writer. Quoted in: Artemus Ward, His Book, Introduction (1964 ed.)