How might society deal with the theological challenge posed if the phrase "the cat sat on the mat" appeared in scripture?*
The liberal theologians would point out that such a passage did not of course mean that the cat literally sat on the mat. Also, the cat and mat had different meanings in those days from today, and anyway, the text should be interpreted according to the customs and practices of the period.
This would lead to an immediate backlash from fundamentalists. They would make an essential condition of faith that a real physical, living cat, being a domestic pet of the Felix Domesticus species, and having a whiskered head and furry body, four legs and a tail, did physically place its whole body on a floor covering, designed for that purpose, and which is on the floor but not of the floor. The expression "on the floor but not of the floor" would be explained in a leaflet.
Meanwhile ritualistic high-churchers would have developed the Festival of the Sedentation of the Blessed Cat. This would teach that the cat was white and majestically reclined on a mat of gold thread before its assumption to the Great Cat Basket. This is commemorated by the singing of the Magnificat, lighting three candles, and ringing a bell five times. This would cause a schism with the Orthodox which believe tradition requires Holy Cat Days (according to colloquially usage), to be marked by lighting six candles and ringing the bell four times. This would be partly resolved by various declarations recognizing the traditional validity of each.
Eventually, the bishops would issue a statement on the Doctrine of the Feline Sedentation. It would explain that, traditionally the text describes a domestic feline quadruped superjacent to an attached covering on a fundamental surface. For determining its salvific and eschatological significations, we follow the heuristic analytical principles adopted in dealing with the Canine Fenestration Question (How much is that doggie in the window?) and the Affirmative Musaceous Paradox (Yes, we have no bananas). And so on, for another 210 pages.
Various groups would then commend the report as helpful resource material for clergy to explain to the man in the pew the difficult doctrine of the cat sat on the mat.
A free thinkers conference would set up a working party, to report back in three years time, on the discrimination felt by mat-less cats within the church. A service would appear involving lighting a single candle and inviting everyone to sit around it on their own mat.
---------------A Final Thought ...
"There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity’s mind and were willing to reveal it."
- Mark Twain (1835–1910), U.S. author