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At the pet shop a fellow entered and spoke to the proprietor,

"I'd like to buy a talking parrot," said he.

"Certainly sir," said the shopkeeper, who showed him to a cage he kept in the back. Inside was a distinguished looking bird with a steady gaze and smooth, green feathers.

"Speak, Bartlett," said the shopkeeper.

"Money is the root of all evil," the bird said in a cultured voice. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is nothing to fear but fear itself."

The shopkeeper said proudly, "Pretty impressive, no?"

"Yes," agreed the customer. "How much?"

"Five thousand dollars," said the shopkeeper.

"Hum," muttered the customer, "for that kind of money, I want a bird that writes his own stuff ..."