The Repairman

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Old lady Broomfield's dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman.

He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment, and as the old lady kept an active schedule, she devised a strategy to get the machine repaired in her absence:

"I'll leave the key under the mat," said she. "Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. By the way, don't worry about my dog. He won't bother you.

"This is very important, however: under no circumstances are you to talk to my parrot."

When the repairman arrived at the house the next day, he discovered a gigantic dog, of an ill-defined breed, that eyed him hungrily. But, just as the lady had said, the dog lay still on the carpet, watching him go about his business.

However, the whole time he was there, the parrot squawking incessantly. After half an hour of this behavior, with no reaction from the man, the bird began talking and continued loudly and with no break.

Finally the repairman could contain himself no longer and yelled:

"Shut up, would you just shut up you worthless bird!"

The parrot sat quietly for a moment, and then continued,

"Sic Brutus, sic!"