There was once the landlord of a public house who had a pet parrot. The parrot lived in the main room and was much admired by all the regulars.
Unfortunately, one day the parrot was chased by a cat the inevitable result was to be expected. The landlord was heart broken.
For the following year, the landlord was sure he sometimes heard his parrot talking to him. A year to the day after the parrot died, the landlord was sitting in his establishment after closing time doing the accounts. He looked up and saw the ghost of his dead parrot.
"Hello" said the landlord "what are you doing here"
"I'm a parrot who can't rest" replied the parrot "I can't go to parrot heaven and I've been stuck here as a ghost for the past year"
"What's the matter" asks the landlord "can I help?"
"Well" replied the parrot "when I met my end my tail came off and I can't go to heaven until my tail is put back on, I've had to carry it with me for the past year. Can you put my tail back on?"
"I'm sorry, I can't do that" replied the landlord "it would be against the law"
"Now just why would that be?" asked the ghost parrot.
"Well" said the landlord, "This is a licensed pub and it's against the law for me to re-tail spirits after closing time"