Olympic Questions

Back Next

Here are some of the questions that were said to have been asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site. I have no idea whether this is really so or not, but if you've had any experience with questions from the public, you'll agree that these are very mild indeed.

Q. Does it ever get windy in Australia? Also, I have never seen it rain on TV., so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A. Upwards, out of the ground....like the person who asked this question, who, themselves will need watering if their I.Q. drops any lower.

Q. Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (U.S.A.)
A. That depends on how much beer you have consumed.

Q. Which direction should we drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)
A. Excellent question....considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.

Q. I want to walk from Perth to Sydney, can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A. Sure can, it's only 3,000 miles ... unfortunately you would have needed to start out about a year ago to get there in time for this September.

Q. Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A. And accomplish what??

Q. It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
A. I'm not touching this one ...

Q. Can we bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A. Why bother? Use your fingers like the rest of us ...

Q. Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A. No ... everybody stinks.

Q. Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany) A. Yes, they certainly do, but only in sporting goods stores, people's garages, and most national parks ...

Q. Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A. This HAS to have been asked by a Blonde ...

Q. Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A. Yes we certainly do ... At Christmas, December 25th.

Q. Can we drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)
A. Sure , hope your vehicle is amphibious.

Q. Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A. Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.

Q. Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A. Another blonde?

Q. Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (U.S.A.)
A. I love this one ... there are no rattlesnakes in Australia.

Q. Which direction is North in Australia? (U.S.A.)
A. Face North, and you should be about right.

Q. Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (U.S.A.)
A. Americans have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between Austria and Australia.

Q. I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It is a kind of bear and it lives in trees? (U.S.A.)
A. And I thought Yankees were smart!

Q. Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (U.S.A.)
A. Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

---------------A Final Thought ...

"So you wish to conquer in the Olympic games, my friend? And I too, by the Gods, and a fine thing it would be! But first mark the conditions and the consequences, and then set to work. You will have to put yourself under discipline; to eat by rule, to avoid cakes and sweetmeats; to take exercise at the appointed hour whether you like it or no, in cold and heat; to abstain from cold drinks and from wine at your will; in a word, to give yourself over to the trainer as to a physician. Then in the conflict itself you are likely enough to dislocate your wrist or twist your ankle, to swallow a great deal of dust, or to be severely thrashed, and, after all these things, to be defeated."

- Epictetus (c. 55c. 135), Greek Stoic philosopher