 | Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar
cone to prevent ice cream drips. My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone; you're probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. |
| Martha's way #2: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto
the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time. My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds. The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag. |
| Martha's way #3: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag
with the potatoes. My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year. |
| Martha's way #4: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt
to the water before hard boiling. My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway? |
| Martha's way #5: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to
room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter
before squeezing. My way: Sleep with the lemons in between the mattress and box springs. |
| Martha's way #6: To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply
add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and
bring to a boil on stovetop. My way: Eat at Chili's every night and avoid cooking. |
| Martha's way #7: Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before
pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains. My way: Feed your garbage disposal and there won't be any leftovers. |
| Martha's way #8: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use
a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the
outside of the cake. My way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you. |
| Martha's way #9: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still
cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an
instant "fix me up" My way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. |
| Martha's way #10: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the
refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. My way: Celery? Never heard of the stuff. |
| Martha's way #11: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking
to yield a beautiful glossy finish. My way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust and so I don't do it. |
| Martha's way #12: Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften
it. My Way: Brown sugar is supposed to be "soft"? |
| Martha's way #13: When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to
help bring out the corn's natural sweetness. My Way: The only kind of corn I buy comes in a can. |
| Martha's way #14: To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a
pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh, but if it rises to the
surface, throw it away. My way: Eat, cook, or use the egg anyway. If you feel bad later, you will know it wasn't fresh. |
| Martha's way #15: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub
it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. Martha, the only reason this works is because you can't rub a lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the problem isn't the headache anymore, it is because you are now blind. |
| Martha's way #16: Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just
slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water. My way: Mashed potatoes will now be replacing the antibacterial soap in the handy dispenser next to my sink. |
----------------A Final Thought ...
"I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. ... The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make dry toast, instant coffee, hearts of lettuce and brownies. But as an added attraction, at no extra charge, my idea was to put a fried egg on the cover. I think a lot of people who hate literature but love fried eggs would buy it if the price was right."
- Groucho Marx (1895–1977), U.S. comic actor