The new physical fitness club was advertising for people who could represent them on an international expansion tour.  Ads were placed in major newspapers across the country, and one came to Pa's attention.

He studied it carefully:

 

"We're looking for five men in peak physical condition.  Must be able to speak Spanish, French, Chinese, or Japanese.  Must be knowledgeable about weights, aerobics, and at least two major sports."

 

The next day Pa appeared at the office of the new club.  Being a man of over 70 and just a wee bit short for his weight, the muscle-bound type behind the desk was a little surprised when Pa announced,

 

"I'm here about the ad."

The club employee pondered the situation, but decided to be polite.  "Do you speak Spanish or French?" said he.

 

"Nope," Pa replied.

 

"Chinese or Japanese?"

 

"Nope" was the response to both questions.

 

"Know anything about weights or aerobic exercises?"

 

"I wouldn't be caught dead with either," replied Pa.

 

"What about sports?"

 

"I ain't played anything more taxing than checkers.  in fact, my life wouldn't be greatly impoverished had most sports never been invented."

 

"I see," said the muscle-type.  "Tell me something, buddy, why did you come here?"

 

Pa's reply was quick and definite:

 

"To tell you to count me out ..."