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Long-time readers of these pages will recall that Pa, the subject of occasional visits from us, has frequently looked for loopholes in his marriage license to Ma. His last major advance on this field was when he tried for an annulment on the grounds that Ma's Pa was never licensed to carry a gun (but that's another story).

Not long ago Pa was again engaged in this line of conversation with a friend. Pa declared that he was about to the point where he would just move ahead on any account and speak to Ma about a divorce.

Stunned, his companion asked, "Why? What happened, you two seem so beneficial to each other."

"Well" said he, "ever since we got married, Ma has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking, running around at all hours of the night and more. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music and how to invest wisely."

"Are you a little bitter because she spent so much time trying to change you," Pa's friend probed.

"Nah, I ain't bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just ain't good enough for me ..."