Antique Car


Back with Ma & Pa, whose exploits we occasionally detail in these pages, we find the old couple busily engaged in what might charitably be described as a family discussion.

Pa fancies himself as something of an automotive expert, whereas his practical knowledge is limited to occasional tinkering that isn't much more advanced than changing his own oil. This contrasts with his lifelong pal Mort, owner of a local eatery, who became a mechanic in the army and emerged as one of those fellows whom can accurately diagnosed a car's ills simply by listening to it. Naturally their disparate abilities has for years been a source of irritation to Pa.

Lately, however, he hit upon the fact that restored "classic" vehicles bestow a certain status upon their owners and Pa resolved to further deplete the family coffer by rehabilitating his own ancient car.

It seems that, during the Sputnik era, Pa took an inordinate interest in the search for potential Russian spies. Accordingly, he designated his aging Studebaker as his "undercover" vehicle and had sequestered it in a remote shed on their property, where it remained ever since.

"Why ever would you want to waste time and money on that old car," Ma queried.

"I want to do it so that my best friend Mort, whose companion I've valued since childhood, will see it, instantly have a stroke from jealousy, and drop dead. "In fact, I'm headed down there right now to see if I can start the car."

"Not possible," replied Ma. "There's trouble with that car. "It has water in the carburetor."

"Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

"I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

"You don't even know what a carburetor is. "I'll check it out."

"Well, if you must go," replied Ma, "You'll find it in the pond that formed behind the beaver dam last year ..."