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Sir Thomas Beecham was traveling by train on one occasion, when the only other passenger in the compartment, an elegantly dressed woman, lit a cigarette, despite a prominent "No Smoking" sign.

"I'm certain," said she, "That you will not mind if I smoke."

"Not at all," replied Beecham. "I'm also certain you will not mind if I am sick.

"You do not realize," she responded, "That I am one of the directors' wives."

"Madam, were you the director's only wife, I should still be sick," came the reply.