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For weeks the young woman had plagued the renowned pianist, Artur Rubinstein (1887-1982), to give her an audition. At last, in hopes of ridding himself of her once and for all, Rubinstein summoned the woman to his studio.

"If only you would concert to be by teacher, Maestro," the woman began, "I know I could become a very great concert pianist."

"Very well," replied Rubinstein. I will listen. Please be seated at the piano."

For half an hour Rubinstein listened in silence as the woman played, her notes sounding something akin to hitting the keys with an umbrella handle.

When the concert was completed, the woman turned to Rubinstein and enquired,

"Well, what do you think?"

"I think," he replied wearily, "that you should get married ..."