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Jack Benny (1894-1974) and George Burns (18961996), friends from their youth when both worked the vaudeville circuit, remained friends until Benny died.

Once the two were lunching at a Hollywood restaurant. Benny was wrestling with the problem of whether or not to butter his bread.

"I like butter on my bread," said he, "But my diet strictly forbids butter. Maybe I should call Mary and ask her what to do."

"Jack," Burns said, "Don't be ridiculous. You're a grown man. You should be able to decide, without your wife's help, whether or not to butter your own bread."

"You're right, I'll just have the butter, that's all."

When the waiter arrived with the check, Burns pointed to Benny and said, "He's paying."

"What?" Benny said. "Why should I have to pay the whole bill?"

"Because if you don't, I'll tell Mary about the butter..."

---------------A Final Thought ...

"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair."

- George Burns (18961996), U.S. comedian