Alligators

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Dorothy Parker, whose sayings and unorthodox exploits are featured occasionally in these pages, was a well-known writer and notorious wit. Unfortunately, her demanding schedule was known to interfere with her judgment.

Once she accepted two baby alligators as a gift. After the deed was done she was at a loss as to what to do with the beasts, so she ran some water in the bathtub and left them there while she contemplated the situation.

The next day her maid came as usual while Parker was out. When Parker returned that evening she found a hastily scribbled note from the maid and the house uncleaned. The note said:

"Dear Madam:

I am leaving, as I cannot work in a house with alligators. I would have told you this before, but I never thought the subject would come up ..."