Diamonds

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An elderly lady found herself at an engagement far above her social status and was besieged by two high-toned ladies at the pool.

The first, in a very toplofty manner, remarked,

"I have found the most marvelous place for cleaning my diamonds. It is done quickly and well, and the diamonds are returned on time. Truly, it is comforting to know that when you must wear your diamonds, they will have the proper fire."

The second looked at her own jewel (she was wearing only one, for they were at the pool and the accent was on informality) and said,

"You are indeed fortunate. I have had the largest jewelry firm in New York handling mine but I must admit I am not entirely satisfied. Of course, in he circles in which I move, standards are enormously high and it isn't always easy to find work done just so."

After a short pause, during which elderly visitor said nothing, one of the other women turned to her just a shade catlike and said,

"And you, my dear, how do you arrange to have your diamonds cleaned?"

To which the reply,

"It's not a problem at all. When my diamonds get dirty, I just throw them away ..."