As previously mentioned in these pages, my personal experience is not substantially impoverished with only the slightest exposure to camping. For those that have a more determined interest in the subject, however, the following list of "Camping Hints" is provided. It's never too early to start planning ...
|When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.|
|Get even with the bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.|
|The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges. Stay clear of those named for landfills.|
|While the Swiss Army knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.|
|Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable campers to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze and cough, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.|
|You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.|
|You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.|
|Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping: Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.|
|A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.|
|A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.|
|The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.|
|The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations. The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.|
|It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.|
|Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.|
------------------A Final Thought ...
"To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel."
- Fran Lebowitz (b. 1951), US journalist