Camping Hints

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As previously mentioned in these pages, my personal experience is not substantially impoverished with only the slightest exposure to camping. For those that have a more determined interest in the subject, however, the following list of "Camping Hints" is provided. It's never too early to start planning ...



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bulletWhen using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.
bulletGet even with the bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.
bulletThe best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges. Stay clear of those named for landfills.
bulletWhile the Swiss Army knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.
bulletModern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable campers to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze and cough, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.
bulletYou'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.
bulletYou can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.
bulletTake this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping: Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.
bulletA two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
bulletA potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
bulletThe guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
bulletThe sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations. The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.
bulletIt's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.
bulletBear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. The tricky part is getting them on the bears.

------------------A Final Thought ...

"To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel."

- Fran Lebowitz (b. 1951), US journalist